Friday, 3 August 2012

FFS friday- I have 3 weeks worth of FFS and I could not make this stuff up if I tried.

Dear Baby G   There is 3 weeks worth of stuff here, grab a drink and`be prepared to sit through the longest post ever written.

Sunday- had a lovely family day out at Trainworks, highly recommend it, will do a separate post.  2 things made me say FFS.
1  The ipad made an appearance in my bag and that is where it stayed lucky we had the pram and I was not carrying it.  FFS. 
2 The HOTH managed to have his phone switched off for a couple of hours and the world did not end but when he switched it back on there was a message from our neighbours 2 doors up saying they had one of our dogs.  FFS
I did feel better about the ipad as there was a lady yelling at her husband to catch their little boy as he was running off but he was too busy playing with his ipad.  Had she not been running off I would have shaken her hand! FFS
Sunday night the usual shower with the hot water running out half way through nothing unusual there except I realised we had swimming the next morning meaning I had to dehair in freezing water.  FFS
Tuesday- for some reason we had eaten dinner and the HOTH had had a shower by 530pm which meant it was up to me to shower with the kids so as there was hours to kill before bedtime we all hopped in the bath for an hour as there was tonnes of hot water.  I practised my The Voice audition songs loudly and then realised our neighbours (the ninjas) house is so close we can basically reach out and touch it therefore they would have heard my fabulous singing.  Embarrassed.  FFS
Towards the end of bath time I distinctly remember saying "DON'T POKE YOUR BROTHER IN THE EYE" FFS
The baby was up in the night but after a half hour cuddle on the lounge fell asleep..
Wednesday-  Baby wakes at 7am crying I go in there and his right eye is puffy and shut and slightly watery.  FFS
 I rename him Mike Tyson.  FFS 
I think its scabby eye but then remember the poking incident.  FFS
I remember that you can get scabby eye drops from the chemist without a prescription so off we go to the shops.  Get an awesome parking spot near aldi which is a bit of a walk from the chemist but as it was not raining that didn't matter.  Go to get the pram out of the car it wasn't there FFS.
 I had to carry 14kgs of baby around.  FFS  I love this kid but he is a freaking giant.
 Got the drops from the chemist after having to admit in front of a few people that his eye maybe scabby eye or a result of his brother poking him.  FFS 
Wrestle the baby and get 4 lots of drops in just in case it was scabby eye.  FFS 
Turns out it was not scabby eye.  FFS
Thursday-  This is dedicated to and and a couple of others who I cannot remember.
It would seem a couple of weeks ago all the men in Australia were asking the question "what do you do all day"and various other little gems like that which can result in screaming matches and no speaking etc depending on your household.  This was also first day back to preschool after 2 long weeks of school holidays so I got a slight attack of the guilts and decided to have a big effort and clean while I only had one child at home.  How quickly things turn bad!!  This is slightly long bear with me!!
815am I tell the kids to walk or crawl to the gate while I grab the bags and keys.  They go outside and I hear the dogs metal bowl banging on the deck, I thought it was the baby spinning it around didn't think anything of it grabbed the kids in the car off to preschool.  After ditching the big one the baby and I got back in the car and were home in under 45 mins (new world record)  I got stuck into some serious housework and iron mike was happy playing outside.  After a while I hear him calling "mumma blah gabble mumma"  trying to tell me something.  I was in my room and I could hear him talking still trying to get my attention so I go out to find him.  Turns out he was trying to show me a plastic toy trailer filled with dirt and water which had sloshed out at the back door when he tried to bring it in and was leaking a lovely path up the hallway.  FFS.
  On the carpet.  FFS
 The dog bowl they had been playing with was the water bowl.  FFS
 Moral of the story do not leave kids unattended to do housework.  FFS
 After cleaning the mess which took forever my phone rang, it was the preschool telling me that there had been an accident.  My heart skipped a beat but it turns out that when the big one was running he had tripped over and hurt his mouth but he was fine and eating an iceblock.  FFS
 I should have said thats great a fat lip will compliment his brothers black eye.  He was fine and after a couple of days of bandaids on a small grazed hand he was good as new.  Until the next time.  FFS
Friday-  Could not get my computer working.  FFS 
Switched it off all weekend and it worked again on monday.  FFS
Saturday night the dogs got out again.  FFS 
They brought  home a pinata.  FFS
Sunday- the Labrador was quiet all day as she came home after eating god knows what all night.  Her stomach was bloated and she did not move pretty much all day.  I was cooking dinner on sunday night when I hear "whats that, is that spew mum"  Yep the dog had spewed all over the carpet a big pile of black mush.  FFS. 
I was so angry that I could not speak and I nearly vomited myself cleaning it up.  FFS
Monday- It had been raining a lot and I stacked it down our slippery muddy driveway after swimming.  I was ok until about lunchtime when I could not sit down.FFS  All good now!!  FFS
Tuesday- the baby had green snot so as per my rule on snot we skipped playgroup and went to woolies instead which is where I saw the MINCEPIES.  FFS. 
In freaking July.  FFS
Friday-  I cleaned the house like a mad woman in the morning as I was meeting some friends and I knew that when we got home the boys would be exhausted and sleep for ages and I could finally sit down and write my FFS.  At 1030 when we were supposed to leave I could not find my car key anywhere so ripped the tidy house apart looking for it.  FFS.
I found it at 1130 in the toy digger, damn bower bird kids.  FFS.  We went out an hour late and neither boy would sleep when we got home not that that matters as I had to retidy and clean.  FFS. 
I really need to get a spare key for my car.  FFS
Friday arvo I was getting my washing in when the ninja neighbours stick their heads over the fence and say they have called the real estate agents about getting a new fence as my dogs keep getting into their yard.  They were nice about it but still FFS.  I said no worries we will be out of here very soon (which we will be and thats another new FFS.  How to break a lease and not lose any money  FFS) so now we have to lock the dogs up in the garage at night and every time we go out and I now have to supervise the dogs so they don't keep busting out.  FFS 
Its been a week and no word from the real estate.  FFS  They are quick to call if you innocently forget to pay and are a week behind.FFS
Not much has gone on this week except my children are enjoying many early mornings of Olympic watching.  FFS.
Saturday night from 1130pm until about 1 am we were watching the horsies and road cycling.  FFS Tuesday from 330am and Thursday from 5am.  FFS
The neighbour 2 doors up asked how many kids we had.  FFS  I hate living in a quiet street.  FFS
Thats it for me.  If you have read down this far you deserve a medal!! 
the baby and the dogs edited on my phone by a 3 year old.
nothing beats a dog for a pillow.  he had a haircut not long after this photo!!


  1. bahaha you get the award for biggest FFS EVER! awesome job! M is 12kg and I pulled my tricep carrying her around for an hour at the shops last week. I cannot imagine 14kg gah! but he is so super cute x

  2. He is cute and that is his saving grace!! I just realised how long this actually was!!


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